One of the hardest decisions that I had to make this year was if I was going to share and celebrate one of the hardest life moments that I ever faced.

On March 23, 2016 – My greatest life accomplished was born Miss Mackenzie Kadence Duke. Yet, within seconds Mackenzie was gone.

She was simply beautiful and my weight loss coach. She had been keeping my weight down for 21 weeks and did not allow me to eat much of anything.

I wonder about you all the time. I know you would have Marcus wrapped around your finger by now.  Everyone said that you looked like him. I guess I would give him that lol. I know we would have been able to gang up on him though.

Sometimes I feel like you should be in the car with me as I drive down the road. But, I look through my rearview mirror, and I realize that you didn’t come home with me.

There are many days that I wonder did I do everything possible to keep you here with me. The doctors and my family tell me I did. Obviously, I don’t feel like I did enough. They tell me God loves you best. So, it must be a whole lot more in comparison to the love I have for you. I have to trust that. And, also know that Grandaddy Frank and Miss Maeola are loving on you too.

But, today is your day, and we will celebrate. I will make sure I eat some cake for you!! I plan to wear purple. I made that your favorite color. You would have loved Daisy Duck, that would have been your birthday theme. I will probably get some purple balloons today, and I hope they reach you. I hope you feel my love, every time I kiss your picture.

There was a song I planned to dedicate to you. I seem to hear it all the time now. Sometimes a little too much. But, I hope that it means that you are with me.

You are just the best, my lovebug, my baby. I love you forever.

Mommy

11 Comments

  1. Thank you for sharing Mackenzie's story with us, Shannon. I pray that God continues to cover you, Marcus and the family.

  2. Stay strong with everything you have left, try not to question the questions. I hope to never know what this feels like and that God continues to give me a moments comforting word to ease some of the pain. I remember when you shared part of this testimony in New Day 101, trial temptations you said. Yes, those are the hard ones that God chose your shoulders to bear. If I get my ((hugs & kisses)) to you in mere words, it's just that little while you can feel the arms of His heart never meaning to cause you such despair. I love you my Sister, and your strength is immeasurable. I can't feel your pain, but I feel your pain. Happy Birthday baby Kadence, I love her name. #Instep Continued Blessings of Peace, Joy & Strength. P.S. I had on my Purple.

  3. Stay strong with everything you have left, try not to question the questions. I hope to never know what this feels like and that God continues to give me a moments comforting word to ease some of the pain. I remember when you shared part of this testimony in New Day 101, trial temptations you said. Yes, those are the hard ones that God chose your shoulders to bear. If I get my ((hugs & kisses)) to you in mere words, it's just that little while you can feel the arms of His heart never meaning to cause you such despair. I love you my Sister, and your strength is immeasurable. I can't feel your pain, but I feel your pain. Happy Birthday baby Kadence, I love her name. #Instep Continued Blessings of Peace, Joy & Strength. P.S. I had on my Purple.

  4. A beautiful tribute! You know I am a purple lover too. I truly admire your strength and wisdom. Saving Shannon is helping to save others.

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