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God has designed marriage to be a great, beautiful union. Yet, it takes love, work and commitment from husband and wife. These 42 relationship goals can serve as inspiration for you and a great conversation starter with your significant other. This is great for married, engaged and seriously dating couples. 

My husband and I have been married for 13 years, and I am so grateful for the wonderful man that I get to share my life with. The relationship goals below are a combination of actions that we are great at, failed at and are still working on.  But, I find it a blessing (and kinda fun) to continue to work on our marriage. I couldn’t ask for a better person to do it with. 

So, take a look through and see what your mastery level is for this relationship goals checklist. 

Faith

  1. Keep God First I believe this is number one for any type of goal. By making sure that God is first in the relationship, you will be able to overcome a lot of things together. Your faith will be able to help you look past each other’s faults.

  2. Don’t view submission as a bad thing – Yes, millennial women. I know the media will tell us that we don’t have to stay subjected to any man. This is also not Fifty Shades of Gray submission either. But, before you click away from this post, I want you to consider thinking about biblical submission as a choice. It also can be beneficial to your marriage.

  3. Respect Each Other – Your intent with your words and actions should never be to disrespect one another. Ephesians 5:22-33 is such an awesome read for couples.

  4.  Pray together – The Word says that where two or three are gathered in my name, that Jesus will be in the midst (Matthew 18:20). So, think about how powerful your prayers can be together.

  5. Attend a church service together – I included this as a relationship goal, because I understand that everyone doesn’t go to church together. Marcus and I didn’t go to church together early on in our marriage. But, a great Pastor did encourage me to attend some services with my husband and to eventually attend the same church for two reasons. First, there is value when you are getting the same teaching. It can minimize confusion. Secondly, you are showing that there is unity in your home. You want to make a statement to others that your marriage is only a party for two. 

  6. Complete a bible study together – Why not pick a chapter in the bible, good book or e-devotional to try together and grow together in the Word of God.

Communication

7. Communicate regularly – I am a big talker, so I may at times overcommunicate lol. But, it is so important to have constant communication with your spouse. You shouldn’t have to constantly guess, what is on each other’s mind.. Communication is the means to clear up misunderstandings, but it also gives you a chance to learn more about each other. And, people change so it is important to stay up to date on one another, so to speak I recommend looking up interesting questions for couples for Pinterest to find some engaging content. 

8. Don’t hesitate to apologize – If you are wrong, then admit that you are wrong. Even ask for forgiveness, if that is necessary. Well-meaning apologies can be so freeing for you and your spouse.

9. Don’t go to bed angry –  Ephesians 4:26 explains that you don’t want the sun go down on your wrath. So, what is the point for staying mad that long and even ruining your own good night’s sleep. If it is a serious conversation at the very least agree to resolve issues at another date. Clearer heads may prevail at a different time and day.

10. Keep it confidential – Your marriage should only involve two people – You and your husband. While it maybe tempting to air your latest argument or send subliminal messages on social media, it’s not cute. Do not invite family and friends in your marriage. Seek God first and maybe even consider counseling. If something must be shared with a CLOSE friend or family member, make sure that it is Godly counsel. But, it shouldn’t be a consistent thing. Bottom line – just keep some mystery in the marriage. 


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11. Seek each other’s input – Sometimes we may forget, especially early on in our marriage and relationships, that our decisions affect more than just one person. So, don’t hesitate to ask your significant other about his thoughts. 

12. Don’t compare your marriage to anyone else’s marriage – What works in my house, may not work for yours. You should be asking “Is God pleased with MY marriage? Is MY spouse happy? While it is great to look to others for inspiration, your marriage is unique to you and your partner. 

13. Be the bigger person – Everything is not worth an argument. Sometimes, you just need to say ok. Squash the argument in a mature way. Move on. Be the first to apologize. 

14. Show Grace – If your spouse makes a mistake, remember to show a little grace. If he may be feeling like a failure. Think about how you would want to be treated if the shoe was on the other foot.

Fun Stuff

15. Incorporate some surprises – We can definitely get caught up in the day to day, once we are married. So, don’t forget to add an element of spontaneity and surprise. It could be as simple as buying your spouse their favorite snack after a long work day or planning a fun date night.

16. Do something the other enjoys – This relationship goal may have you out of your comfort zone, but your husband may get a kick out of you trying one of his favorite activities. And, you might even find yourself enjoying something new.

17. Get away – A change of scenery is always nice. 

18. Keep the special days special – Make a big deal out of anniversaries, holidays and birthdays for the other person. Even create new traditions for your marriage? You may find that your husband will start even reciprocating the sentiments for the special days. And, you don’t have to break the bank to create lasting memories. 

Self – Love

19. Work on yourself  – Always take the time out to see how you can better yourself inside and outside of the marriage.  This also goes back to communication. Regularly, I try to ask my husband, if there is something that I can improve on in the marriage.  We often see others as the problem in our relationship, but the truth is we all have our issues. 

20. Allow for “Me” time – Our husbands can be great to be around, but we also need our space. Make sure there are moments that the two of you can do your own thing. It will rejuvenate you when y’all come back together.

Friendship

21. Provide encouragement – I have to say my husband is one of my best friends. One thing I love about him is that he is always there to encourage me. It is important that spouses support each other, particularly on goals. You also want to be your hubby’s #1 cheerleader during times of discouragement and hardship. That’s what friends are for.  

22. Do an Emotional Check – In: You want to regularly check in with your spouse about their feelings and emotional well-being. Show concern for other relationships outside of the home, such as work. A simple, How’s your day?” is a great place to start. 

23. Hold Each Other Accountable – You know the character of your spouse, so if one person may be engaging in less than Godly behavior, you should lovingly let your spouse know. Also, you want to hold each other accountable, when it comes to your goals. You may be the motivation your partner needs.  

24. Ride or Die –  A ride or die friend is the type of person, who sticks with someone through thick and thin. This is the mindset that you will need to have in marriage. Stay committed to one another in good and bad times. Stick with your marriage . And, don’t be quick to throw your mate under the bus. Your spouse should know that you have his back, even if no one else doesn’t.

Love and Intimacy

25. Say  “I love you” – Don’t forget to tell each other these three important words. Although it may be understood between the two of you, it never hurts to say it. 

26. Show affection – You should understand what each other’s comfort level is when it comes to affection inside and outside the home. This would be a good time to take the love language quiz.  

27. KISS – Keep it Spicy, Sweetie – This  is for my married folk. Remember to keep it interesting and sexy. 

28. Give verbal appreciation – Along the lines of saying I love you, you want to let your significant other know, what you really appreciate about them often. Sometimes we can take our spouses for granted. I did this exercise with my husband at a recent conference, and it was a beautiful sentiment. I think we were both surprised about what we admired about each other. I bet you will also find that it will be a beautiful sentiment for you and your sweetheart. 

29. Care for the important people in his life – Let your spouse know that his family and friends are important to you too. Maybe spend time alone with his parents or do something thoughtful for his young nieces or nephews. 

30. Uninterrupted Time  – Turn off the phone and any other electronic devices that would be a distraction and then enjoy some uninterrupted time together. 

Activities

31. Tackle a goal together – A common goal may just be what your relationship needs to build on your love. What about a DIY home project or saving on a vacation. 

32. Do A Day in the Life Activity – Change up the roles for the day. This will hopefully garner a few laughs and/or appreciation for one another.

33. Try something that is new to both of you – Is there a new restaurant in town?  Have you visited an escape room before? Adventure and new memories may just be around the corner.

Business

34. Complete finance checks regularly – You need to be on the same financial page in your marriage. Typically, it may be one person in the relationship, that may handle the finances. However, both people should know what is going on in the day to day. Another tip – nothing should be hidden from each other financially. Set aside a consistent schedule for checking in financially.

35. Get or Update Life Insurance – No one really likes to talk about this, but it is so important that life insurance is discussed with your husband. Make it a goal to discuss or update life insurance policies for both of you annually. You may also want to include other important legal documents and papers in the conversation. 

36. Share your plans for the future – It is always good to share your thoughts and visions of the future together. You may want to also take the time and write them down. (Habakkuk 2:2)

Extra Credit

37. Do Your Own Marriage Retreat – This could be a getaway or a staycation, but you will take several aspects of the relationship goals examples that we mentioned previously. You will discuss the goals or complete the actions during a concentrated time. It is like a conference just for you and your spouse.

38. Complete Marital Education Courses – Consider heading to a Christian conference or seminar to focus on your marriage. If you can pull out a few gems of knowledge, your marriage will be better for it. 

39. Go to counseling – Things do not have to be 100% bad for you to consider counseling. But, it is always a good tool to use to help improve areas of your relationship.

Married Friends

40. Find a mentor couple – If you are looking for some couple goals to aspire to, the answer may be right in front of you. Find a couple with Godly wisdom and see if you can gather more insight on how to strengthen your relationship.

41. Hang with some couple friends – You may find 2-3 like minded couples to hang out with. If you are looking for more couple friends, there a numerous churches that have marriage ministries. So, this might be a great place to start. You could also consider paying it forward to a younger couple, who need role models for their relationship goals.

MOST IMPORTANT AFTER GOD

42. Put in the work – Marriage takes a lot of things, but it definitely takes work. So, you have to be willing to put forth in effort, even on the hard days. You have to understand your commitment to your marriage is also a commitment to God. But, I believe that the hard work pays off and you will find there is a lot of joy in the journey often times than not.

Relationship Goals: What’s Next

Let me reiterate, if you are not doing everything that is on this list, it is okay. But, I hope that you will use it to think about areas in your marriage or relationship that you can improve. If you are looking for more ideas to get started on your relationship goals, you will definitely want to check out these two goal setting worksheets. The Let’s Goal worksheet is a goal setting worksheet pdf to help you figure out a game plan to accomplish individual goals. “Our Love Story” continues is for current couples to share their dreams. 

Peace & Blessings, 


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P.S. Remember when I mentioned submission should not be viewed as a bad word (#2) . I talk more about the blessings of submission in this post. Learn three ways that it could provide a blessing in your life. 


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